The Dark Side of Fun

For thirteen years I have worked every weekend in October at a Halloween attraction called The Haunted Woods sponsored by The Bear Den Zoo in Waterford Wisconsin. It has become such a part of my life that most people who know me don’t even bother asking me to do anything in October because they already know I’m busy. It’s the only thing I plan for. Much like people look forward to hunting season, I look forward to Haunting season.




I started working at The Woods when a girl I was “sort of” seeing, who is related to the family who runs it, asked if I’d be interested in working there. I said sure! I showed up to the planning meeting and introduced myself and was assigned to work an area in the first 1/3rd of the trail. I have worked that same area every year except once when I was at the other end in one of the final scenes. Over the years I have seen and experienced enough craziness to provide me, a storyteller, with hours of material. I have also had the opportunity to study humanity in a specific setting and talk with many people about what frightens them and the whole horror genre in general.

I generally get asked three questions when it is discovered I work at a haunted attraction. The first question is -
“What are you dressed up as?”
My answer is usually,
“Something terrifying, if you want more detail, come and see for yourself.”

This is not an attempt at being a jerk, it is an attempt to get people to buy a ticket and check out this event. I also like to keep a bit of mystique around my character so people don’t call me out when they see me in a scene.

The second question is -
“How Scary is it?”
My answer is usually,
“….umm, I don’t know, it depends. How well do you handle horror movies?”

Horror is a vastly subjective concept. What makes me chuckle might keep someone else awake and crying in a corner for weeks.

The third question is –
“Why do you do it?”
My answer is usually,
“I love doing it!”

This answer is NEVER acceptable on its own. People want to know if I get paid really well, am I some sort of weirdo, or if there are “perks” to the job. In truth, there is reimbursement for time spent working how ever I wouldn’t call it being “well paid”. Anyone who is familiar with me knows I proudly consider myself a weirdo and I have no idea what the hell the “perks” of this job would be. I don’t get free passes to the event to give out if that’s what they’re asking.
My initial answer is still the most honest answer. I genuinely love being a part of this event every year. It’s an improvisational interactive theatrical performance. What I do in our scene is also very physically demanding. I enjoy the feeling of working all my muscles as I’m running, jumping, crouching, and stalking! It is different every time someone enters our scene because everyone entering our scene is different. Some people can go through multiple times and react different each time. It is meant as entertainment which, for me, means even if I fail to get a scare out of them, I will try to get a laugh out of them. My goal is to make sure they have a good time while they’re in the woods.

You learn, if you put forth the effort, which people to interact with. Most people who pay to go to these events love the exhilaration of being scared and for the actor attempting to scare people; it’s a rush when you get them going real good! More often then not when I’m working a crowd, I have a giant grin on my face which is why I wear a mask. I can be right in on someone, just laying it on and they are screaming with full wind but I still see the smile on their face. Sometimes audience members conspire to help me by distracting a target just long enough for me to get in position which is usually right behind them with my face about 6” away from them so when they turn I can roar in their face and get them going crazy! With this sort of proximity there comes physical contact. The official policy is “you don’t touch me and I won’t touch you.” However, basic survival instinct means inevitably I sometimes make contact. During the course of my “scaring career” I have been slapped, shoved, punched, kicked, groped, kissed, lap-danced, and propositioned. I’ve had all sorts of acts offered just so I would stop scaring them. I’ve posed for photos and been given hundreds of high-five’s and fist-bumps. As I said, it is very interactive. You learn who’s reacting normal and acceptable and who is actually trying to hurt people or be a jerk. If someone is acting inappropriately our security team hears about it and those people are dealt with up to and including a call to the police. Most of the time contact with an audience member is a harmless incident and one of the badges of honor you earn as an actor.




You learn who’s scared and loving it, who’s terrified at the moment but will be able to laugh about it eventually, and who is having a real problem dealing with the experience.
I try to coach the other actors in the scene on how to deal with people who just can’t handle the intensity of this event. Sometimes you can get away with just backing off and letting them go and sometimes they need to be allowed to pass up a scene. On occasion we will get someone who is so upset by their experience that they cannot continue. When this occurs in our scene, I usually have one of the actors walk them on a path that leads out and around the attraction so they have a chance to calm down and regain some composure before they leave. The actor that usually does this works as a lifeguard and she is really good at getting people to calm down. She also has first aid training which helps her deal with the occasional person under the influence. Dealing with an audience who might be drunk or stoned is a part of this experience. On the whole though, the majority of the people who come through are having a good time. We get several compliments from people who are impressed with the costumes, the sets and the energy. We also get complimented if we really make someone jump. This is the one time when screaming and running away could illicit a “Thank You” from someone.



I have had the privilege to work with some outstanding people in the woods over the last thirteen years. I have made many friends and shared some great memories. I always look forward to seeing everyone each year and catching up. This year the leader of the scene before mine collected several photographs and assembled a pretty great video. I asked Perry Claeys if I could upload his video to share in this post.

Check This Out.



So there you have it, a small introduction to a very big part of my life. I’m very proud of how far The Haunted Woods has come in the years I’ve been working there. Talking with the organizers, it sounds like even bigger and better things are planned for next year so come on out and see for yourself. It won’t kill you. Heh heh heh…