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Weld spatter burns pepper arms that prop up a head that aches like poverty. The flies buzz by like maverick pilots and cause one of the arms to lash out in an annoyed ballet. Coffee and water stand on a stained Formica battlefield cooling and warming in unison.
Both becoming unpleasant.
The murmur of patrons drone along with the piped in pop creating an audible equivalent to the cranium ache. Eyes peer at the empty other side of the booth, the ceiling painted in nicotine, soft water spots on sparkling new silverware and an ashtray as empty as an insincere eulogy. The server strives for an Academy Award with his customers’ two booths up.
Eyes close
Eyes open
Breathing is measured as nothing happens at this spot, on this planet as it spins, hurtling through space.

A Hoopy Frood

I first read The Hitch-Hikers Guide to the Galaxy in fifth grade. My Dad and I would make regular trips to the Waukesha Public Library and on one visit I discovered I had read everything they had available from Stephan King and Dean Koontz and was looking for something new. Wandering up and down the isles scanning the spines, my eye caught the words “Hitch-hiker’s Guide”. I pulled the book and flipped open to a random page and read about the usefulness of a towel and decided to check the book out. That was the beginning of my long lasting respect for Douglas Adams. I’ve read through a great many of his books time and time again and always seem to learn something new.

One of the lasting things I learned was the first thing I ever read by him, The Usefulness of a Towel. I’ve actually carried towels in all the cars I’ve owned (described here) just in case I needed one. Here is a list of just some of the uses I’ve had for my towel.

• Drying off after getting stuck in a flash flood
• Picking up hot muffler that had just fallen off car
• Cleaning up after a drunk friend
• Head rest while working under vehicle
• Arm sling for a Co-worker hurt on a jobsite
• Hand warmer after gloves got soaked changing a flat in the winter
• Heat shield while working on a hot engine
• Battery cover to prevent tools from shorting out across terminals
• Duct taped in place of broken door window in the winter
• Seat protector for stray dog
• Many others that I can’t remember

I had a custom traveling towel made a few years a go by a friend who owns a company called Stitch, Print, and Stick. I wanted a towel with my name and the number “42” embroidered on it. George set me up with this beauty!



I’ve taken it on most of the trips I’ve gone on and carried in my vehicles as my Secondary “Show Towel”. Recently, however, it got promoted to my primary towel.

A few months ago, I was working with a ratchet strap and it broke apart in my hand causing an injury that required several stitches.


The first thing I grabbed was my standard use towel before heading to the emergency room. Upon being taken back for treatment, they took my towel and THREW IT AWAY!!! I said I wanted to keep it and they told me they had to dispose of it because it was covered in blood. I grudgingly relented with sorrow in my heart. It had been a good, strong trustworthy towel. I raise my cardboard gas station coffee cup in its honor. Consequently, my “Show Towel” is now my primary towel. It is a hardy traveler and will do well.

Fans of Douglas Adams have an annual “Towel Day” wherein we openly carry our towels all day to spread the word of its many uses and to let everyone know we are hoopy froods who know where our towels are.