What's that Junk inside your Truck?

One of the first things my Dad taught me regarding the ownership of a vehicle was to be prepared for emergencies. This included having the skills and tools to perform some simple emergency roadside repairs. Every vehicle I’ve owned since has had at least the following items in it.

• Towel – This item was originally included as homage to Sci-Fi Writer Douglas Adams and his book, The Hitch-Hikers Guide to the Galaxy. It has, however, earned its place amongst my tools by proving itself a very versatile and useful ally in travel. For suggestions click Here.

• Flashlight – In order to see at night or under the hood and to signal people traveling on the road.

• Duct Tape – Blue Collar Comedy aside and much like the towel listed above, this is a very useful item to have. Its uses are truly impressive.

• Hammer – Persuasion is sometimes needed in an emergency.

• Screwdriver – I would recommend both a flat and a phillips head individually. More than once I’ve made an unpleasant situation much more aggravating by dropping the screwdriver tip in slushy muck while trying to change it out.

• Adjustable wrench – properly used can take the place of an entire set of standard and metric wrenches.

• Jumper Cables – More often then not, I use my cables as a Good Samaritan rather than as a victim of battery failure but they are still used regularly. It is important to know how to jumpstart a vehicle properly and safely. Doing it incorrectly can not only damage the vehicles but could cause severe injury. If you don’t know how, ask someone to show you. It’s not difficult but it needs to be done right.

• Small gas can – For years I kept a small 1 gallon can in my trunk mostly because I’ve owed a few cars that didn’t have working fuel gauges.

• Backpack, Gym Bag, or Milk Crate – I used a milk crate for years to store everything so it wouldn’t be scattered throughout the vehicle. I also used it as a snow shovel once in order to dig my self out of a snow-plow induced ice blockade. If your in a smaller vehicle, you might consider using a backpack to hold everything. Backpacks are especially helpful if you need to leave your car on foot so you can take your provisions with you. I have recently moved to a back-pack for human gear and an antique wood box for vehicle gear.

This separation allows me to abandon my vehicle quicker without having to take time to repack everything I want to take with me. I stress the fact that this is a set up that works for me. Your personal set up might be quite smaller.

I have added to this list, over the years, a variety of gear that I’ve tested for usefulness. Some of it I kept, most of it I’ve dumped because I didn’t use it, I used it and it failed, or I found a comparable item that was more compact. I added the following items to the list above with winter and the possibility of getting stranded in mind.




• Spare winter Gloves – Once gloves get wet they are virtually worthless and in order to maintain use of your hands, you will want to change them out for a dry pair.

• Winter cap – An emergency is no time to worry about hairstyles. Keeping your head and ears war is very important when out in cold weather.

• Extra Socks – A couple pair of socks can make a world of different. Keeping your feet warm and dry is something that everyone should strive for. You don’t want to end up with “Trench Foot!”

• Blanket or Sleeping bag – In case you get stranded and are forced to stay with your vehicle until help arrives, this can be a life saver. You may not be able to rely on your car heater to keep you warm. If you decide to abandon your vehicle, this can be another layer of protection as you make your way to safety.

• Bottled Water – Hydration is extremely important. I keep a 6 pack of bottled water in my vehicle for drinking in the event I’m stranded. Most bottled water with withstand freezing without breaking the bottle. As a precaution you could seal these bottles in a kitchen garbage bag. It should hold the water if they do break plus the bag can be used for a variety of things including transporting things if you have to walk, keeping things dry in a wet environment, ect.

• Energy bars – I keep a few “Clif Bars” in case I’m stranded. They provide a boost when dealing with a roadside emergency.

• Compass and local map – With training, a compass and local map can direct you to the nearest town where you can seek shelter.

• First Aid Kit – In my opinion, this should come standard on all vehicles. The first aid kit you keep should be one that’s set at your skill level. People often spend a lot of money on a fancy all inclusive medical kit but don’t have the skills required to used a field surgery kit or even a blood pressure cuff so there’s no point in having one take up space.

• Lighter/Matches – It’s always good to have a source of fire available in the event of an emergency. I would lean toward disposable lighters as they are more tolerant of weather conditions then matches.

• Flares/safety triangles – Stopped on the side of the road puts you in immediate danger from passing traffic. Setting out flares or reflective triangles will alert motorist to your presents. You may even get an offer of assistance.

• Small shovel – These you can get at camping or army surplus stores. I mentioned above using a milk crate to shovel snow and ice out of the way. Having a shovel would have made this task a lot easier.

I would be remiss if I don’t say something about personal safety. Sadly, we share a world with people who have malevolent intentions. Often in an emergency you will be relying on strangers for assistance. Your personal safety comes first! If something doesn’t feel right, get out of there. The first resource available in all situations is you. I encourage everyone who I speak with to get some training. Knowing how to properly perform CPR, change a tire, and jump start a car gives you the advantage many people do not possess. I also was to reiterate that this is a fairly personalized endeavor. What works for me in a SUV might not work well at all in your compact car. What I try to do is a yearly audit of what I keep at my disposal in my vehicle. I usually do it around my birthday as a reminder. I check my gear for damage and wear and replace anything that might be expired in my first aid kit, snacks, and water. I also wash my spare cloths and blankets to make sure they fit and do not have any problems. I realize that this list can look intimidating but you don’t have to try to get set up all at once. Start off with what you’re comfortable with and grow from there. The Center for Disease Control has a couple of good pages on the subject of preparedness HERE , HERE , and HERE. Let me know what you do to prepare for driving in Wisconsin.

5 things that terrify me

For Halloween I thought I’d throw out 5 things that take the string right out of my spine and reduce me to a quivering pile of sissy putty. These are in alphabetical order because they rate differently on my terror scale from time to time.

1. The Dentist

There are a couple of reasons this profession is on the list and it is the only fear on this list I am actively trying to conquer but when someone asks me about fear, this one comes up fairly quickly.



2. The Brown Recluse Spider

I am not a fan of any sort of arachnid but the Brown Recluse Spider, or more precisely, the effect of its bite makes me want to encase myself in Adamantium.



3. Pennywise the Clown


Clowns, as a rule, don’t bother me. Pennywise, however, is the sole reason I steer clear of sewer drains and old timey photos.



4. The Ring

I don’t think any other movie I’ve ever seen bothered me as much as this one. That one little half second “cat-scare” at the beginning of the movie was enough to render me nearly incapable of going near my closet for weeks afterward. (shudder)



5. Wasps

Actually, anything that flies and looks like it might sting has the ability to send me flailing about like a stork on acid. Wasps are the worst because they are the alcoholic asshole of the flying, stinging, doom of the insect world. Yes, I know, swatting at them only irritates them and if you don’t show fear blah, blah, blah, whatever!I Don't Care! They Suck!!

Customer Service..The other side of the call

Customer Service is a job title that is often viewed with a great deal of scorn. (Click HERE for one person’s creative vent) You hear nightmare tales of incompetent people, worthless results and endless automated call menus. I work in customer service and have had all these experiences myself. There is another side to an awful customer service call though. My job requires me to spend a great deal of time on the telephone interacting with people in need of a service. I have learned a great deal about customer service, phone etiquette, and non-confrontational conversation techniques. I am much more tolerant of things that used to send me into violent tirades of cobalt language, but there are still things that cause me to hang the phone up with a little more force then is required. Here is, therefore, a list of things to consider when you are on the phone with customer service. (I realize that not everything on this list may apply to your situation but most of them will.)

• Clear Goal – When calling, please try to have some sort of clear goal formed before hand. Try to decide if you are calling to order parts, get technical assistance, inquire about a warranty issue or what ever the case may be, try to be able to state the goal in one sentence. Even if you are researching a product, if you explain to the C.S.R. (Customer Service Representative) what you want to do clearly, they will be able to help you out much more efficiently. We are usually a very talented and knowledgeable group of people but none of us are mind reader and crystal balls are not as reliable as we would like them to be.
• Details – Even the best C.S.R. needs some information in order to do their job. Any information you have regarding the reason you are calling will usually help. Model numbers, serial numbers, part numbers, invoice numbers are all very helpful to a successful service call. Remember, we are depending on you to provide us with some data we can use in order to help answer your question. A good C.S.R. is likely taking note as you converse with them; it is a good idea for you to do the same. It is always a good idea to write down the name of the C.S.R. you are working with as well as the time and date the call was made. This way if there are lingering issues or “follow up” calls to be made, you can work with the same person rather than start all over. Please try to remember to speak clearly and calmly especially when giving part numbers, account numbers, credit card numbers, ect. When giving out your phone number remember to give the whole number including the area code.
• Telephone Etiquette – This is a big deal! Proper behavior on the phone will go a long way in making the call a success. One of my biggest irritants is people who talk while eating. I’ve walked away from people for doing this in front of me and I can assure you, having the sound of you wolfing down your favorite snack right in my ear will NOT endear you to me at all. I cannot foresee any situation where the need for food and a phone call should intersect. This also goes for chewing gum. If you are trying to quit smoking then more power to you! Battling your oral fixation, though, is your struggle. Gnawing on a wad of gum or tobacco or sucking on life savers is extremely distracting.
In addition to not eating during the call, excessive multi-tasking is also a poor idea. I realize we all have busy lives and several of my customers are small business owner or even self-employed people trying to make ends meet and time is literally money being made or wasted. However, a customer service call is usually more than a mere friendly chat. In my job, at least, a phone call is an interactive exchange of information which requires the focus of all those involved. Putting me on hold while you answer another call, yell (in my ear) at your barking dog, cuss out your employee, child, McDonalds drive-thru worker, or argue with your wife about the credit card is not very helpful and can make our exchange a great deal less productive. Here is a well put together page regarding telephone etiquette. It is a bit lengthy and was evidently prepared for a college, but much of the material and ideas can be used in most non-social calls.
• Confrontation – As I said above, some of my phone calls are from self-employed individuals with one piece of equipment with which they make a living and provide for their family. Often this equipment is of an older vintage (i.e. equipment originally made in the 1960’s and 70’s) due to the affordability of used machinery versus new. If they have a part break and are not able to use their equipment, they are losing money by the second. When these people call they are already stressed out from the situation. Add to this the possibility that a replacement part has a long lead time, a high price tag or worse is no longer available and you’ve got a situation that can be seconds from explosion. I have learned to handle these situations, but if the call escalates to a personal attack I will terminate the call. If you need to make a customer service regarding a situation that has you feeling frustrated, insulted or dismayed take a minute to calm down before making the call. Please realize that the person who answers that call is not likely the one responsible for your irritation and truly wants to help resolve whatever is troubling you. Try to remain calm, breath, avoid personal attacks and profanity while explaining your concerns. This will go a long way toward achieving the goal of the call.

Dealing with Customer Service can be challenging but you have the power to help make these interactions less soul crushing and much more productive.

Grammar Rules

I did very poorly in school with regards to the English language and it's proper use in written for. I found this somewhere and thought it was pretty great so I thought I's share it.

Rules for Grammar

1. Verbs has to agree with their subjects.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
5. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat.)
6. Also, always avoid annoying alliteration.
7. Be more or less specific.
8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
9. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
10. No sentence fragments.
11. Contractions aren't necessary and shouldn't be used.
12. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
13. Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.
14. One should NEVER generalize.
15. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
16. Don't use no double negatives.
17. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
18. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
20. The passive voice is to be ignored.
21. Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.
22. Never use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice.
23. DO NOT use exclamation points and all caps to emphasize!!!
24. Use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
25. Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth earth-shaking ideas.
26. Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed.
27. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
28. If you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: Resist hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it correctly.
29. Puns are for children, not groan readers.
30. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
31. Even IF a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
32. Who needs rhetorical questions?
33. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
34. The passive voice should never be used.
36. Do not put statements in the negative form.
37. Verbs have to agree with their subjects.
38. A writer must not shift your point of view.
39. Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences of 10 or more words, to their antecedents.
40. Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.
41. If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.
42. Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors.
43. Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.
44. Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their writing.
45. Always pick on the correct idiom.
46. The adverb always follows the verb.
47. Be careful to use the rite homonym.

And Finally...

47. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

Something Random

I have recently discovered a large community of bloggers dedicated to horror movies. The first one I found was “Day of the Woman” and quickly discovered “Fascination with Fear.” Both of these blogs are by women and both are very, very good. The reviews I’ve read were insightful and well delivered, and the advice regarding movies is well worth noting. Please spend a few hours and surf their entries. You will njot regret it!
I stole this subject from Fascination with Fear who, in turn, stole it from Final Girl - she has it somewhere in her blog, I think like two years ago or something...

She titled it 'Pretend you care...', and I think that about sums it up.
My answers might not all be horror-related, but I'll try.
Here goes:

1) Name a movie that you have seen more than 10 times:
Star Wars (The original trilogy)

2) Name a movie that you've seen multiple times in the theater:
Star Wars – Episode I – Only because I was in a band with a Star Wars Fan

3) Name an actor that would make you more inclined to see a movie:
Simon Pegg – I have never been let down by one of the movies he’s been in.
Mila Jovavich – She’s a great actress, does a lot of her own stunts, and I’m a guy.

4) Name an actor that would make you less likely to see a movie:
-Will Farrel – No Problem, short of a couple of indie films (Stranger than Fiction and Winter Passing) I generally can’t stand the characters he plays.
-Sara Michelle Geller – Her face never changes…EVER

5) Name a movie that you can and do quote from:
Star Wars - Obviously

6) Name a movie musical that you know all of the lyrics to all of the songs:
I don’t know all the lyric I’ve written much less in a musical, but “Sweeny Todd” and “The Triplets of Bellview” both have tunes I can hum along with.

7) Name a movie that you have been known to sing along to:
Return of the Jedi – The Ewok celebration theme.

8) Name a movie that you would recommend everyone see:
The Triplets of Bellview – It’s an animated silent film (there are no real dialogue scenes in the film)

9) Name a movie that you own:
I’m glad to see these aren’t vague questions. I own “Wolf Creek” which is one of the most brutal, disturbing movies in my collection.

10) Name an actor that launched his/her entertainment career in another medium but who has surprised you with his/her acting chops:
Justin Timberlake – His music makes me want to eat chalk but he has been pretty good in the films I’ve seen him in.

11) Have you ever seen a movie in a drive-in; If so, what?
I saw “Gremlins” at the Drive –In when it came out. More accurately I hid in the back seat while the movie played I also remember going with my Dad to see E.T. at a drive in.

12) Name a movie that you keep meaning to see but just haven't yet gotten around to yet.
[rec.] – The Spanish original version of Quarantine.

13) Ever walked out of a movie?
Nope – Way too expensive!

14) Name a movie that made you cry in the theater:
I got lumps in my throat at the end of “The Mist” and “The Hitch-Hikers Guide to the Galaxy” primarily due to the elation of seeing scenes from books I love adapted to the screen better than I could have ever hoped.

15) Popcorn?
At home, if I have any micro-pop in the cupboard but at the movie it’s too expensive and is a distraction from the movie.

16) How often do you go to the movies (as opposed to renting them or watching them at home)?
I am a big Netflix fan and again with money being what it is. I’d say 12 out of every 100 movies I see in the theater.

17) What's the last movie you saw in the theater?
Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief

18) What's your favorite/preferred genre of movie?
Sci-Fi/Action/Horror


19) What's the first movie you remember seeing in the theater?
Either “101 Dalmatians” or “The Fox and The Hound”

20) What movie do you wish you had never seen?
Bloodrayne – Damn my male-driven decision making skills regarding sexy Terminators

21) What is the weirdest movie you enjoyed?
As in “YOU liked than movie?!” probably “Amelie”
As in “WTF did I just watch?!” probably – A Clockwork Orange”

22) What is the scariest movie you've seen?
Sadly- “The Ring” ruined my ability to sleep in the same room with a closet or play VHS tapes for weeks.

23) What is the funniest movie you've seen?
The Ghost and Mr. Chicken – Don Knotts + Haunted mansion = ruptured spleen

A list of questions from Jess

While looking through a folder on my computer I discovered a list of questions my friend Jess forwarded me. I had meant to respond but needed to think about the answers so I saved it and promptly forgot it. Here are my answers.


1. Do you like Swiss cheese? Only on breaded chicken sandwiches

2. Have you ever jumped off anything? The restricted side of the quarry lake in Menomonee Falls Park in jeans and damn near drowned!!!

3. Do you own a membership? Yes, to The W.A.C. and Zombie Squad!!

4. What flavor of Kool Aid is your favorite? I created what I call “Zombie Juice” which was a packet of “berry punch” and “Cherry” mixed with 4 cups of sugar in a 1 gallon container. Red Bull ain’t got nuthin’ on me!

5. Do you get nervous before doctor's appointments? Only the embarrassing ones

6. What do you think of wasabi? Lump of green evil that hunts one corner of my sushi salvation.

7. Favorite all-time movie. Impossible question. (Note- Those that know me also know that I cannot answer any "Favorite" question because I stand by the idea that a persons tastes change during the couse of even the same day thus making it impossible for a direct choice in most matters.)

8. Who do you think is super-hot? Prodigy (I’m a fire sta-ta! Ta-wisted fire sta-ta!!!)

9. Can you do a hand-stand? Only if I had a desire to become a quadriplegic.

10. What's your favorite piece of jewelry? My guitar pick necklace.

11. Favorite hobby? Daydreaming

12. Do you have a STD? Nope- Doc tested, Mellie approved!

13. Do you play sports? Bowling?

14. What is your favorite food? Sir Pizza - Royal Feast!

15. Name 3 things you're looking at. Time Clock, Word Document, My life speeding past!

16. Name 3 things you like to do? Being with Mel, Answering questions, Chasing my run-away life!!

17. Current worry? As Always, Money

18. Current pain right now? All the diodes on my left side. (Ref. The Hitch-Hikers Guide to the Galaxy character Marvin- The Paranoid Android)

19.Favorite Place to be? Somewhere with friends and laughter.
20. What did you do for Halloween? I made a little girl cry.

21. Where would you like to go? England or Scotland

22. Name three people who will complete this: Mel, Fran, Alisha

23. Do you have any pets? Oaty, my stuffed bear and Rawr, My Ugly doll

24. What color shoes are you wearing? Black Steel Toed Boots

25. Do you like sleeping outside? In a tent, sure.

26. Can you cook? There are things I create that are edible.

27. What are you doing tonight? Visiting my folks

28. Would you pick up a hitch hiker? Yup, depending on a few conditions.

29. What is your favorite sports team? Dixie Dock Dogs http://www.dixiedockdogs.com/

30. Favorite vehicle? To Own – ’58 Plymouth Belvedere - Actually Owned 1996 Maxima (pre-age related issues)

31. Favorite holiday? Halloween

32. What is in your pocket right now? (Eyebrows rise) Ahem, well..Some change, a knife, work keys, wallet, cell phone and a pen

33. Last thing that made you laugh? Mel’s description of herself as having the grace of a drunken pelican.

34. What was the last thing you ate? A burrito from the “Wheel of Death” – Always gotta exercise the immune system.

35. Worst pain you've ever had? Death of a close friend.

36 Do you love more then ten people? Depending on your definition of love, possibly.

37. How many creatures do you have in your house? That I’m aware of, four humans and some plants.

38. What are your pet peeves? Eating noises, unattended children, barking dogs, lists of questions that end at 48 instead of a nice round 50, and other things that make me seem like more of a petty asshole than I really am.

39. Who is your favorite famous person? Douglas Adams

40. Do you have any plants? Yes, a bamboo plant

41. What is your favorite number? 42

42. How many siblings do you have? Noneish

43 Do you have any bad habits? Chewing my nails, various personality traits

44. Where do you go to blow off steam? Seems like where ever it is most inappropriate at times.

45. Who is your favorite cartoon character? Satchel (Get Fuzzy) followed by Pig (Pearls before Swine)

46. Do you keep secrets from the ones you love? Yes, I was successful at throwing a surprise birthday party for Mel.

47. What do you want to be when you grow up? I let you know when I decide to do it.

48. Are you artistic? I would prefer to be labeled artistic rather than claim that I am.

5 Books I like

I would like to start by saying that list is not in any order. I sat here and went through my mind and grabbed five books that I really enjoyed and jotted them down on my note pad. These titles are books that I have read more than once and in several cases multiple times.

I find that when I read a book I really like, I really connect with, then I can re-read that book several times and either discover things I missed before or it’s like reliving a memory. Sometimes the characters are developed well enough where it’s like visiting a friend. Either way, all of the books on this list are that way with me and it is my sincere hope that they can be that way for you. So here we go.


The Long Walk – Stephan King as Richard Bachman

This may be one of my favorite stories of all time. It was written by Stephan King under the pseudonym “Richard Bachman” and can be found grouped together with three other stories in a collection called “The Bachman Books”. The story is set in a different America where there is an annual contest called “The Long Walk”. One hundred walkers are selected, by lottery, out of a list of applicants. The winner receives everything and anything they want for the rest of their lives. The main rules are simple; once you start walking you cannot stop until you are the last one walking. You must maintain a speed of no less than five miles an hour, and you cannot purposely hinder other walkers. You receive a warning for an infraction. After three warning and you are shot to death where you are. It is a great experiment in sociology.

The Salmon of Doubt – Douglas Adams

On May 11th 2001, the galaxy was shaken by the loss of a literary luminary. With an irony that he might have included in one of his stories, Douglas Adams passed away from a heart attack while working out at a local Gym. After the funeral and some time healing, his friends put together a posthumous collection of articles and stories found on the hard drives of Douglas’ many beloved Mac Computers. They also included and unfinished draft of his next book titles “A Salmon of Doubt”. This is a bitter sweet collection for it really gives the reader insight into the man who showed them how cross the galaxy with nothing but a towel. If read as a introduction to his work it could lay the ground work for a long and fruitful relationship with a man who knows how to make a proper cup of tea.

The Centurion – Sean Patrick Little

I found out about this book from my Darling Mel who went to college with the author. She said her friend wrote a book and it was sort of Sci-Fi, sort of Fantasy, so I bought it out of support for local artists. I sat down with it a bit skeptically but was fully engrossed in it within the first twenty-five pages. I devoured this book and am eagerly awaiting another volume. Sean creates a world in which you are truly interested in and concerned with what’s going to happen next. His characters are like the friends I spoke of earlier. I have read this book twice and both times were it was engrossing. Unlike some stories of this style, there is clear definition and reason used to explain why things are happening as they are and who the characters are and for what reason they are the ones needed for the tasks they perform.

To date, I have gotten two people to read my copy of this book. The first is a Sci-Fi lover like me and the second is a reader who I think is new to this genre. Both reported favorably of their reading experience. Ideally, those of you who are interested should buy your copy from Sean and help support new authors.

Drawing Blood – Poppy Z Brite

I was introduced to this book by my good friend Scott. He said the imagery was great and the plot was compelling. He went to college so I took him at his word. (heh heh). I really got into this book because again the characters grabbed me right away. The plot is easy enough to grasp firmly and there is a scene with a band experience that touches a special place. I have read the entire book several times but I have stopped in to “visit” with Trevor and Zach hundreds of times.

Ender’s Game – Orson Scott Card

This is straight up Science Fiction. A very close friend who is dear to me gave me a copy of this book. There was no preamble, Denise just one day handed me the book and said “read it”. I did, and I love her even more for it. It tells the story of Andrew “Ender” Wiggin, a boy who is chosen to go to a prep battle school for a future war against an enemy alien race who have already attacked earth once and were only barely defeated. The plan is to ready an army for the inevitable return of The Formics. I have read the cover off this book and reduced it to a poorly taped together collection of pages. There are several sequels but most have lost my interest save for one. Ender’s Shadow is the same timeline but told from the perspective of another character. It is exciting to read these books in unison so as to see their interactions with each other from two vantage points. It is a unique experience in story telling.


Well there you go, five suggestions to get you through the re-run season and maybe, just maybe, you’ll become less dependant on electronics for entertainment, then maybe you’ll decide that maybe you can tell a story other people want to read, and soon I’ll be writing an article dedicated to all the local artist who’s books I’ve read and who’s characters I’ve become attached to and eventually reading will be popular again and our intellect will rebound from years of sitcom induce atrophy.

Ten Great Heavy Metal Songs

I love music of all kinds but I have a soft spot for Heavy Metal. In this post I thought I would share some of my favorite songs. This is not a top Ten and I do not have a Favorite song. I dig music based on the mood I’m in. The following songs are songs that are great and I have never gotten sick of them. I would recommend anyone not versed in Metal check out the studio versions of these songs to get the original feel, and if you are a Head Banger, I hope this brings a smile to your face and a crick to your neck.

• Anthrax – “Indians” – This song has one of the greatest “Mosh Buildups” written into a song. There is held metal vocal note, a unison of rhythm guitar and bass chugging and a build on the drums and the band hollers “War Dance” and no matter where I am I bang into that beat.
• Megadeth – “Holy Wars…The Punishment Due” – The first taste people get of what is considered the pinnacle of Megadeth’s recording career is this cold, crisp, and complex example of what can be done within the realm of speed metal. The bands founder, lead singer and Commander in Chief, Dave Mustaine, creates a massive epic that spans past five minutes but feels like just a moment. This song has sent many young guitar player back to their basements dragging their guitars behind them in frustrations and embarrassment.
• Metallica – “Damage Inc” – I look back to a time before short hair, lawsuits, and documentaries about therapy to a time when the slogan was “Fuck it all with Fucking no regrets” and smile. Any Metallica fan prior to 1991 will tell you that you must own all four of the bands major albums, listen to them and love them to understand the backlash that they have endured since the release of The Black Album titles Metallica. I am one of those fans, and this song is one of the many reasons why.
• Trivium – “Pull harder on the strings of your Martyr” – This is an example of what new metal should be; Fast and angry.
• Rammstein – “Feuer Frei” – I knew I would have a Rammstein song on this list, but coming up with just one was a real dilemma. Rammstein is in my top 10 favorite metal bands list and jockeys for position but will never leave that list. This song appeared in the first “Triple X” movie and people thought all the fire was for the movies sake. Wrong! That’s their gig! As far as I’m concerned the movie could have been written around their set.
• Slayer – “Dead Skin Mask” – Written for Wisconsin’s own Ed Gein, Slayer mixes vivid imagery with grinding music to take you out to Plainfield, Wisconsin where the back story to movies like “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Psycho were born.
• Static X – “Start a War” – Wayne Static’s choppy, rhythmic delivery of the lyrics mixed with the dependable Static X aggression allows for a song destined to stand up for metal heads generations from now.
• Ozzy Osbourne – “Perry Mason” – It’s easy to over look the odd lyrical content of this song when the uncharacteristic weight of the music lands on you like a Buick full of mid-westerners. The guitar tone and brutality of this song more that makes up for eyebrow raising words.
• Iron Maiden – “The Trooper” – A textbook example of British Heavy Metal from the galloping bass lines to the twin lead guitar lines, overshot with the operatic metal voice of their signature vocalist Bruce Dickinson, this song is a metal anthem!
• Motorhead – “March or Die” – This song is my favorite Motorhead tune. To me, it musically captures World War II. It is a rolling juggernaut of music with Lemmy’s growl and the ever present but well used synth sound and the musical peak at the end under the chant Die,Die,Die…Whew, what up mood generator.

Top 10 Most irritating things in radio commercials.

1. I don’t need to hear the phone number 3 times. I don’t need to hear the phone number 3 times. I don’t need to hear the phone number 3 times.
2. Kids can barely talk much less sell you product and if you feel the need to have a kid as your spokes person it better be diapers or Chuck E. Cheese.
3. I don’t care if your trying to convey a non-audible sense, eating noises and talking with stuff in your mouth is disgusting. It breaks down to two age old choices; Spit or Swallow. Either way I don’t want to hear it.
4. You may think your clever by modifying the melody but We all know when you’re trying to influence us by playing background music that sound like hit songs(Stevie Ray Vaughn, Jimi Hendrix, KC and The Sunshine Band). All you’re doing is pissing off fans of that song.
5. Not every white male is a blithering idiot with tit’s and sports consuming his entire conscious. Some of us don’t give half a shit about football or Hooter’s and use books for reading and pleasure and not for leveling out the sofa.
6. You might think you’re a sassy, witty, little, sarcastic minx, but actually you just a condescending bitch who needs a lesson in perspective.
7. Stop using blues tunes in your commercial. Stop writing blues tunes for your commercial. And stop stop stop using the “I got the Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, blues”. Even John Lee Hooker is tired of that style of blues verse!
8. Why the Fuck did you name it The Hog?! Oh and by the way Milwaukee, “I’m a Hoghead=I’m a Douchebag who never ever should be allow to breed.
9. It might have been edgy for 20 seconds in the early nineties but unless Trent Reznor is personally mixing you Station tags, knock it off with the scritchity scratch B.B.B Bob, an Bob, and Bri,Br, Br, Brian..(radio static) Bob and Brian, Mornings on 102.9 (snork,snork) The Hog
10. America already has a weight problem, We don’t need a fourth meal, we Don’t need talking food, Melty is not even a word much less a taste and considering George Webb’s is primarily a Wisconsin based restaurant, they should hire a mid-western rooster for their commercial instead of paying for one who was apparently raised in the Bronx .