I had an experience the other day that got me thinking. I was walking to my apartment after work and across the street ahead of me was a group of kids in their early teens screwing around and heading, generally in the same direction as I was going. It was a mix of 3 girls and 4 boys. I saw one of the boys pretend like he was going to lift the shirt up on one of the girls. He was not even close to serious about it and was easily 12 to 14 inches from even touching her. She said “It won’t matter, I’m wearing a bikini top underneath!” to which he (because he’s a guy) replied “I’ll still see ‘em!” No one seemed off put from this exchange and the group didn’t even stop its casual northern movement up the street.
Being that I’m easily a foot and a half taller then any of these kids I caught up with them and moved to the outside of the side walk in order to pass them without slowing down. Once the kids noticed me and saw I was heading in their direction the group came to an immediate halt most of them with their faces aimed at their sneakers looking like cats covered in canary feathers. One of the kids said “Hello Mister.” I said hello. Another kid asked for a high five so I gave him one. He joked about having his arm torn off. Everyone laughed; I smiled as I moved on past them.
As I made my way to my apartment, I reflected on being that age and hanging out with my friends. I tried to imagine how they perceived me. I’ve been told I can be an intimidating individual and my normal facial posture is sometimes confused with a look of anger or disapproval. Did they think I was going to scold them or something? They probably thought I was a mature adult and wouldn’t appreciate their “Tom-Foolery.” Little do they know I saw almost the same scene happen in a bar a few weeks earlier with people twice their age! I see myself as a young guy still trying to get the hang of this whole “adult life” thing I living. I get together with my friends and laugh, play games, tell jokes and stories way, WAY worse then these kids have ever experienced. I astound myself with my immaturity at times. I even joked about this situation on Facebook! FACEBOOK!!
How am I even remotely an adult? I’m a walking disaster of confusion and insecurity. I’m like a teenager without the acne, wondering what’s going to happen tomorrow or if there is even going to be a tomorrow! I wake up every morning panicked about everything I have to do in the teeny tiny amount of time I have on this planet. Constantly wondering if I’m going to walk my road alone or with someone by my side; whether or not I want to start a family. Who will notice when I’m gone.
Then I do the math and realize I started working at my current job before any of those kids were born.
Whoa!
I could, in fact, be any one of those kids’ dads!
WHOA!!
Talk about a reality shot!
I stop and take a breath. Look everything over and decide that it’s because of all of those things that I am an adult. Being a teenager was something that ended for me almost 17 years ago when I turned 20. Most of what I can remember from those years was a deep desire to get the hell out of school and start working for a living mixed with a mild panic about not knowing what I wanted to do for the rest of my life and a keen interest in girls I didn’t have the confidence to talk to. Time didn’t seem to be as big a deal as it is to me currently. Nowadays, I seem to feel Every. Grain. Of. Sand. Slip through my fingers. There are many things I can attribute my chronological hyper-awareness to but it doesn’t matter. In the end, I don’t want to end up feeling like I wasted my time here so I try to do what ever I can think of doing. There are plenty of arguments about how to best utilize ones life and I’m not going to delve into that ocean of pontification. I’m always open for a discussion about these things but here is not the place for it. Here is just a place for me to babble about the racket that ricochets within my brain.
So have I gained anything from this experience? Have I discovered the differences in the perception of me? Have any of the last 800 words made a difference in anything.
Probably not.
Those reading this may have their opinions of me swayed a bit but I don’t expect anyone’s’ life will be changed for better or worse. This is not new ground for my inner dialogue either. I sometimes contemplate how the cover of my book is read by others. I can sometimes be consumed by self-consciousness. But today, I just think to myself “Hmm..that was interesting.”
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Monday, August 29, 2011
Random insert
My friends,
Traditionally, I like to plan out my entries here, research my topics, seek out and paste in appropriate imagery and links so as to make my "articles" somethings I'm proud to share. Today, or tonight actually as it is currently 11:34 pm as I'm writing this. We will be completely unscripted and non-premeditated. It's a Monday night, I recently finished watching a movie called "Big Bang" with a couple of my close friends and I was doing some minor surfing before hitting the shower and going to bed. I made myself an evening cocktail combining 90 proof cherry mash whiskey and Vernor's ginger ale on ice (a drink I dedicate to my Aunt Joyce)and hopped on Facebook to check in with some friends and got the urge to put something witty or clever as a status update when I discovered, I had nothing like that available in my brain. Hm-mm.. this is a conundrum for the creative minded and a trap I'm all to familiar with. The scene sets up like this.
Me - Brain? - This is owner, I want to write something for my Facebook friends.
My Brain - Ummm, sorry but the dopamine levels available right now will not support this request.
Me - I don't care about all that! I want to write something! Make it happen!
My Brain - I'm sorry but it doesn't work tha..
Me - BLAH! BLAH! BLAH! Fine! Forget it! I'll just look around and throw down something I already wrote!! Damn - I need another drink.
My Brain - Umm.. that's really not going to he..
Me - a,a,a, shush, you had your chance!
I proceed to toss some trite drivel up in the text box, hit send, shower and hit the hay, only to watch the hands on the clock race themselves to the time when my alarm goes off because my brain became offended and decided to show me just how damn creative it could be.
So, I figured rather than go through all of that, I would sit here, finish my my cocktail and share this little story with you. I did post some lyrics I found in an old spiral notebook. They were for a song I could never get the music to synch up to.
Listen to the echo as the music ends
The stage lights slowly fade
There’s a tremor running through you soul
As you turn and walk away
3 A.M. and you’re still awake
Listen to passing cars
Lost in memories of what might have been
Hugging a beat up old guitar
Sticks now sleep on silent drums
The Earthquake bass is spider spun
Vacuum tubes now drown in dust
And Six Silver strings have gone to rust
Brothers of blood weathered every storm
Living to be up on stage
Hundreds of miles in a beat up van
Just as long as you could play
5 to 5 just to pay for gear
Sometimes straight from a gig
Heartache and sickness never got in the way
You never doubted you make it big
Sticks now sleep on silent drums
The Earthquake bass is spider spun
Vacuum tubes now drown in dust
And Six Silver strings have gone to rust
Morning finds you with a whiskey brain
Photos strewn everywhere
Memories pound on an open wound
It’s almost more than you can bear
Off to work, you pass a beat up van
Hitting the road getting outta here
Cubicle nightmare looming up ahead
Within your cell you sit and stare
So, with that said, I am off to clean up and, hopefully, sleep.
Goodnight
Traditionally, I like to plan out my entries here, research my topics, seek out and paste in appropriate imagery and links so as to make my "articles" somethings I'm proud to share. Today, or tonight actually as it is currently 11:34 pm as I'm writing this. We will be completely unscripted and non-premeditated. It's a Monday night, I recently finished watching a movie called "Big Bang" with a couple of my close friends and I was doing some minor surfing before hitting the shower and going to bed. I made myself an evening cocktail combining 90 proof cherry mash whiskey and Vernor's ginger ale on ice (a drink I dedicate to my Aunt Joyce)and hopped on Facebook to check in with some friends and got the urge to put something witty or clever as a status update when I discovered, I had nothing like that available in my brain. Hm-mm.. this is a conundrum for the creative minded and a trap I'm all to familiar with. The scene sets up like this.
Me - Brain? - This is owner, I want to write something for my Facebook friends.
My Brain - Ummm, sorry but the dopamine levels available right now will not support this request.
Me - I don't care about all that! I want to write something! Make it happen!
My Brain - I'm sorry but it doesn't work tha..
Me - BLAH! BLAH! BLAH! Fine! Forget it! I'll just look around and throw down something I already wrote!! Damn - I need another drink.
My Brain - Umm.. that's really not going to he..
Me - a,a,a, shush, you had your chance!
I proceed to toss some trite drivel up in the text box, hit send, shower and hit the hay, only to watch the hands on the clock race themselves to the time when my alarm goes off because my brain became offended and decided to show me just how damn creative it could be.
So, I figured rather than go through all of that, I would sit here, finish my my cocktail and share this little story with you. I did post some lyrics I found in an old spiral notebook. They were for a song I could never get the music to synch up to.
Listen to the echo as the music ends
The stage lights slowly fade
There’s a tremor running through you soul
As you turn and walk away
3 A.M. and you’re still awake
Listen to passing cars
Lost in memories of what might have been
Hugging a beat up old guitar
Sticks now sleep on silent drums
The Earthquake bass is spider spun
Vacuum tubes now drown in dust
And Six Silver strings have gone to rust
Brothers of blood weathered every storm
Living to be up on stage
Hundreds of miles in a beat up van
Just as long as you could play
5 to 5 just to pay for gear
Sometimes straight from a gig
Heartache and sickness never got in the way
You never doubted you make it big
Sticks now sleep on silent drums
The Earthquake bass is spider spun
Vacuum tubes now drown in dust
And Six Silver strings have gone to rust
Morning finds you with a whiskey brain
Photos strewn everywhere
Memories pound on an open wound
It’s almost more than you can bear
Off to work, you pass a beat up van
Hitting the road getting outta here
Cubicle nightmare looming up ahead
Within your cell you sit and stare
So, with that said, I am off to clean up and, hopefully, sleep.
Goodnight
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Customer Service..The other side of the call
Customer Service is a job title that is often viewed with a great deal of scorn. (Click HERE for one person’s creative vent) You hear nightmare tales of incompetent people, worthless results and endless automated call menus. I work in customer service and have had all these experiences myself. There is another side to an awful customer service call though. My job requires me to spend a great deal of time on the telephone interacting with people in need of a service. I have learned a great deal about customer service, phone etiquette, and non-confrontational conversation techniques. I am much more tolerant of things that used to send me into violent tirades of cobalt language, but there are still things that cause me to hang the phone up with a little more force then is required. Here is, therefore, a list of things to consider when you are on the phone with customer service. (I realize that not everything on this list may apply to your situation but most of them will.)
• Clear Goal – When calling, please try to have some sort of clear goal formed before hand. Try to decide if you are calling to order parts, get technical assistance, inquire about a warranty issue or what ever the case may be, try to be able to state the goal in one sentence. Even if you are researching a product, if you explain to the C.S.R. (Customer Service Representative) what you want to do clearly, they will be able to help you out much more efficiently. We are usually a very talented and knowledgeable group of people but none of us are mind reader and crystal balls are not as reliable as we would like them to be.
• Details – Even the best C.S.R. needs some information in order to do their job. Any information you have regarding the reason you are calling will usually help. Model numbers, serial numbers, part numbers, invoice numbers are all very helpful to a successful service call. Remember, we are depending on you to provide us with some data we can use in order to help answer your question. A good C.S.R. is likely taking note as you converse with them; it is a good idea for you to do the same. It is always a good idea to write down the name of the C.S.R. you are working with as well as the time and date the call was made. This way if there are lingering issues or “follow up” calls to be made, you can work with the same person rather than start all over. Please try to remember to speak clearly and calmly especially when giving part numbers, account numbers, credit card numbers, ect. When giving out your phone number remember to give the whole number including the area code.
• Telephone Etiquette – This is a big deal! Proper behavior on the phone will go a long way in making the call a success. One of my biggest irritants is people who talk while eating. I’ve walked away from people for doing this in front of me and I can assure you, having the sound of you wolfing down your favorite snack right in my ear will NOT endear you to me at all. I cannot foresee any situation where the need for food and a phone call should intersect. This also goes for chewing gum. If you are trying to quit smoking then more power to you! Battling your oral fixation, though, is your struggle. Gnawing on a wad of gum or tobacco or sucking on life savers is extremely distracting.
In addition to not eating during the call, excessive multi-tasking is also a poor idea. I realize we all have busy lives and several of my customers are small business owner or even self-employed people trying to make ends meet and time is literally money being made or wasted. However, a customer service call is usually more than a mere friendly chat. In my job, at least, a phone call is an interactive exchange of information which requires the focus of all those involved. Putting me on hold while you answer another call, yell (in my ear) at your barking dog, cuss out your employee, child, McDonalds drive-thru worker, or argue with your wife about the credit card is not very helpful and can make our exchange a great deal less productive. Here is a well put together page regarding telephone etiquette. It is a bit lengthy and was evidently prepared for a college, but much of the material and ideas can be used in most non-social calls.
• Confrontation – As I said above, some of my phone calls are from self-employed individuals with one piece of equipment with which they make a living and provide for their family. Often this equipment is of an older vintage (i.e. equipment originally made in the 1960’s and 70’s) due to the affordability of used machinery versus new. If they have a part break and are not able to use their equipment, they are losing money by the second. When these people call they are already stressed out from the situation. Add to this the possibility that a replacement part has a long lead time, a high price tag or worse is no longer available and you’ve got a situation that can be seconds from explosion. I have learned to handle these situations, but if the call escalates to a personal attack I will terminate the call. If you need to make a customer service regarding a situation that has you feeling frustrated, insulted or dismayed take a minute to calm down before making the call. Please realize that the person who answers that call is not likely the one responsible for your irritation and truly wants to help resolve whatever is troubling you. Try to remain calm, breath, avoid personal attacks and profanity while explaining your concerns. This will go a long way toward achieving the goal of the call.
Dealing with Customer Service can be challenging but you have the power to help make these interactions less soul crushing and much more productive.
• Clear Goal – When calling, please try to have some sort of clear goal formed before hand. Try to decide if you are calling to order parts, get technical assistance, inquire about a warranty issue or what ever the case may be, try to be able to state the goal in one sentence. Even if you are researching a product, if you explain to the C.S.R. (Customer Service Representative) what you want to do clearly, they will be able to help you out much more efficiently. We are usually a very talented and knowledgeable group of people but none of us are mind reader and crystal balls are not as reliable as we would like them to be.
• Details – Even the best C.S.R. needs some information in order to do their job. Any information you have regarding the reason you are calling will usually help. Model numbers, serial numbers, part numbers, invoice numbers are all very helpful to a successful service call. Remember, we are depending on you to provide us with some data we can use in order to help answer your question. A good C.S.R. is likely taking note as you converse with them; it is a good idea for you to do the same. It is always a good idea to write down the name of the C.S.R. you are working with as well as the time and date the call was made. This way if there are lingering issues or “follow up” calls to be made, you can work with the same person rather than start all over. Please try to remember to speak clearly and calmly especially when giving part numbers, account numbers, credit card numbers, ect. When giving out your phone number remember to give the whole number including the area code.
• Telephone Etiquette – This is a big deal! Proper behavior on the phone will go a long way in making the call a success. One of my biggest irritants is people who talk while eating. I’ve walked away from people for doing this in front of me and I can assure you, having the sound of you wolfing down your favorite snack right in my ear will NOT endear you to me at all. I cannot foresee any situation where the need for food and a phone call should intersect. This also goes for chewing gum. If you are trying to quit smoking then more power to you! Battling your oral fixation, though, is your struggle. Gnawing on a wad of gum or tobacco or sucking on life savers is extremely distracting.
In addition to not eating during the call, excessive multi-tasking is also a poor idea. I realize we all have busy lives and several of my customers are small business owner or even self-employed people trying to make ends meet and time is literally money being made or wasted. However, a customer service call is usually more than a mere friendly chat. In my job, at least, a phone call is an interactive exchange of information which requires the focus of all those involved. Putting me on hold while you answer another call, yell (in my ear) at your barking dog, cuss out your employee, child, McDonalds drive-thru worker, or argue with your wife about the credit card is not very helpful and can make our exchange a great deal less productive. Here is a well put together page regarding telephone etiquette. It is a bit lengthy and was evidently prepared for a college, but much of the material and ideas can be used in most non-social calls.
• Confrontation – As I said above, some of my phone calls are from self-employed individuals with one piece of equipment with which they make a living and provide for their family. Often this equipment is of an older vintage (i.e. equipment originally made in the 1960’s and 70’s) due to the affordability of used machinery versus new. If they have a part break and are not able to use their equipment, they are losing money by the second. When these people call they are already stressed out from the situation. Add to this the possibility that a replacement part has a long lead time, a high price tag or worse is no longer available and you’ve got a situation that can be seconds from explosion. I have learned to handle these situations, but if the call escalates to a personal attack I will terminate the call. If you need to make a customer service regarding a situation that has you feeling frustrated, insulted or dismayed take a minute to calm down before making the call. Please realize that the person who answers that call is not likely the one responsible for your irritation and truly wants to help resolve whatever is troubling you. Try to remain calm, breath, avoid personal attacks and profanity while explaining your concerns. This will go a long way toward achieving the goal of the call.
Dealing with Customer Service can be challenging but you have the power to help make these interactions less soul crushing and much more productive.
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Brimstone Serenade
I am in the beginning stages of, yet another, new music project. The project will be called “Brimstone Serenade” and will consist of the re-imagining of several songs I have written and performed in the past. I don’t have a lot of details at the moment because I am focused more on current projects but I will post updates as they occur. I look forward to seeing how this turns out.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
The Man Bag
A Few Years ago I started carrying a bag so I could have things that I felt I wanted to have with me available without resorting to constant cargo pants wearing. I looked all over the internet and couldn’t find anything that “fit” what I had in mind. It was then that my wonderful friend Mel suggested checking out a local military surplus store. We headed over there and, voila, the bag I had been looking for. It is called an Israeli Paratrooper Bag.
I was astounded to find they were going for around $20. This beat most of the other bags I have seen that went for over $100! I promptly bought one and began my career as a guy with a purse.
I began customizing the bag, adding and removing items as they tested out. Learning what I could use and what was excess weight. I’m not a stranger to mockery so dealing with multiple questions in both my masculinity and mentality was no problem. I even began to hear compliments on my bag and also my preparedness.
Here is the official tour of Chris Koterba’s E.D.C. (Every Day Carry)
Hanging Outside
• Compass
• 50’ Length of 550 Paracord
• Elastic Bungee Loop
• Hand Kerchief
• Folding Bottle/Can Opener
Front Small Compartment Flap
Various Mood Elevators (read- buttons and pins that make me smile)
Inside Front Small Compartment Flap
• Black Pen
• Black Marker
• Mechanical Pensil
• Red Marker
• Bic Lighter
• Yellow Hi-Lighter
• 8 Gig Flash Drive
• Precision Flat/Phillips Screwdriver
• Folding Knife
Inside Front Small Compartment
• CPR Rescue Mask
• Comb
• Inhaler
• Small Measuring Tape
• Contact Rewetting Drops
• Business Card Holder/Cards
• Small Chain Latch and Link
• 3 Safety Pins
Inside First Main Compartment
First Aid Kit Pack
• Cough Drops
• Antacid
• Visine Eye drop singles
• Sterile Splinter Outs
• Nitrile Exam Gloves
• Burn Gel
• Triple-biotic packets
• Finger Tip Band-Aids
• Standard Band-Aids
• Knuckle Band-Aids
• “Stop-Bleed” Coagulant powder
• Hydrocortisone Cream
• Large Patch Band-Aids
• First Aid Manual
• Aspirin Tablets
• Electrolyte Tablets
• Ibuprofen Tablets
• Alcohol Wipes
• Antiseptic Wipes
• Blistex Lip Balm
• Tweezers
• Finger Nail Clippers
• Non-Sterile Exact-o Knife
• Fabric Bandage Tape
• Pocket Reference Book
• Pocket Sized “Declaration of Independence” and “The Constitution of The United States”
• Small Carry Strap
Inside First Front Compartment
Auxiliary Kit
• Gerber Multi-Tool
• Small LED Flashlight
• Flashlight Hat-brim Clip Attachment
• RCA to 1/8” Stereo Cord
• Single to Dual 1/8” Headphone Jack Splitter
• 1/8” to ¼” Stereo Adapter Plug
• Cell Phone Case Clip/Stand Attachment
• MP3 player AC Charging Adapter
• Matchbooks
• Key Chain with Two Split Key-rings
• 2 Regular Coffee Singles
• 2 Decaffeinated Coffee Singles
• 1 Packet of Sugar
• 1 Packet of Salt
• 1 Packet of Pepper
• 1 packet of Sugar Free Drink Mix
• 10’ Black Duct Tape
• 1 Tide Stick
• 1 Paint Marker
• 1 Pink Eraser
• Camera with Video Capability
• USB Camera Cord
• Camera Battery AC Charger
• Wind and Waterproof Matches
• Box of Wooden Matches
• 1 Hand Warmer Patch
Inside Second Main Compartment
• Max Brooks “Zombie Survival Guide”
• Moleskin Notebook
• Zippered leather pack with Checks and Postage Stamps
• 16 oz. Steel Drink Bottle
Inside Second Main Compartment
• 3-Ring Binder with Business Cards, Notepad, Pen, Dental Floss, Calculator, Playing Cards, Postage Stamps, Document Folder, Pocket Thesaurus, Pocket Dictionary
So there you have it. That's what is contained within my bag. I'm ready. It's like what Ally Sheedy said in "The Breakfast Club"..."You never know when you may have to jam."
I was astounded to find they were going for around $20. This beat most of the other bags I have seen that went for over $100! I promptly bought one and began my career as a guy with a purse.
I began customizing the bag, adding and removing items as they tested out. Learning what I could use and what was excess weight. I’m not a stranger to mockery so dealing with multiple questions in both my masculinity and mentality was no problem. I even began to hear compliments on my bag and also my preparedness.
Here is the official tour of Chris Koterba’s E.D.C. (Every Day Carry)
Hanging Outside
• Compass
• 50’ Length of 550 Paracord
• Elastic Bungee Loop
• Hand Kerchief
• Folding Bottle/Can Opener
Front Small Compartment Flap
Various Mood Elevators (read- buttons and pins that make me smile)
Inside Front Small Compartment Flap
• Black Pen
• Black Marker
• Mechanical Pensil
• Red Marker
• Bic Lighter
• Yellow Hi-Lighter
• 8 Gig Flash Drive
• Precision Flat/Phillips Screwdriver
• Folding Knife
Inside Front Small Compartment
• CPR Rescue Mask
• Comb
• Inhaler
• Small Measuring Tape
• Contact Rewetting Drops
• Business Card Holder/Cards
• Small Chain Latch and Link
• 3 Safety Pins
Inside First Main Compartment
First Aid Kit Pack
• Cough Drops
• Antacid
• Visine Eye drop singles
• Sterile Splinter Outs
• Nitrile Exam Gloves
• Burn Gel
• Triple-biotic packets
• Finger Tip Band-Aids
• Standard Band-Aids
• Knuckle Band-Aids
• “Stop-Bleed” Coagulant powder
• Hydrocortisone Cream
• Large Patch Band-Aids
• First Aid Manual
• Aspirin Tablets
• Electrolyte Tablets
• Ibuprofen Tablets
• Alcohol Wipes
• Antiseptic Wipes
• Blistex Lip Balm
• Tweezers
• Finger Nail Clippers
• Non-Sterile Exact-o Knife
• Fabric Bandage Tape
• Pocket Reference Book
• Pocket Sized “Declaration of Independence” and “The Constitution of The United States”
• Small Carry Strap
Inside First Front Compartment
Auxiliary Kit
• Gerber Multi-Tool
• Small LED Flashlight
• Flashlight Hat-brim Clip Attachment
• RCA to 1/8” Stereo Cord
• Single to Dual 1/8” Headphone Jack Splitter
• 1/8” to ¼” Stereo Adapter Plug
• Cell Phone Case Clip/Stand Attachment
• MP3 player AC Charging Adapter
• Matchbooks
• Key Chain with Two Split Key-rings
• 2 Regular Coffee Singles
• 2 Decaffeinated Coffee Singles
• 1 Packet of Sugar
• 1 Packet of Salt
• 1 Packet of Pepper
• 1 packet of Sugar Free Drink Mix
• 10’ Black Duct Tape
• 1 Tide Stick
• 1 Paint Marker
• 1 Pink Eraser
• Camera with Video Capability
• USB Camera Cord
• Camera Battery AC Charger
• Wind and Waterproof Matches
• Box of Wooden Matches
• 1 Hand Warmer Patch
Inside Second Main Compartment
• Max Brooks “Zombie Survival Guide”
• Moleskin Notebook
• Zippered leather pack with Checks and Postage Stamps
• 16 oz. Steel Drink Bottle
Inside Second Main Compartment
• 3-Ring Binder with Business Cards, Notepad, Pen, Dental Floss, Calculator, Playing Cards, Postage Stamps, Document Folder, Pocket Thesaurus, Pocket Dictionary
So there you have it. That's what is contained within my bag. I'm ready. It's like what Ally Sheedy said in "The Breakfast Club"..."You never know when you may have to jam."
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