Fox River Forge

Sunday, June 20, 2010

My Dad

My Dad married my mom and adopted me legally as his own son.

My Dad used to read with me as a little boy and when I got older would take me to the library to check out books regularly.
My Dad taught me very early in life that there will always be assholes in the world and dealing with them is part of life.
My Dad taught me early in life that life is NOT fair.
My Dad was in Indian guides with me and we did many wonderful things.



My Dad passed to me the knowledge of being a stand up kind of guy.
My Dad used to have me help him fix things around the house even when I was a small boy.
My Dad started "Abretok Industries" and be created many things.
My Dad would send me inside to get him a beer on a hot Saturday afternoon and thank me when I brought it to him, even if it looked a little less full than it should have.

My Dad, along with my Mom, made a very hard decision and moved us to a whole other state, away from all of our family, in order to have a job that didn’t require us to live in Detroit.
My Dad commuted to work from a campground for several weeks while we waited for our new home to be ready for us.
My Dad defended my choice to read a Stephen King book in 5th grade.
My Dad showed me how to used dry wit and sarcasm in a funny way.
My Dad helped me think about things differently.
My Dad, along with my Mom, went through Hell with me to get decent grades in school.
My Dad defended my choice to read a Rush Limbaugh book during study hall in High School.
My Dad, along with my Mom, chose to get me a decent acoustic guitar rather than a Nintendo system.
My Dad said “If you can drive stick shift, you can drive anything.”
My Dad, along with my Mom and Me, were relieved when I graduated.
My Dad allowed me to learn many life lessons on my own, even though I’m sure he very badly wanted to warn me of the consequences of my actions.
My Dad has never “judged” me.
My Dad has never ignored me
My Dad has Never, Ever let me down.
My Dad is someone who I look up to even if I’m taller than him.
My Dad is the best Dad I could ever have because he is the man that loves my Mom and Me better than anyone else can.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Based on real events


A guy I work with told me a story once about his battle with some bee's. The story was great. It involves mowing the lawn, drinking beer, getting stung and over reacting with a shot gun and fire. Just listing those ingredients is enough to bring a smile to someones face. He told me the story and I was compelled, much like Hollywood, to create a story "based on true events." The following is that story



Full Metal Umnuhs
By Chris Koterba
Based on true events

I am a man who likes to mow his lawn. I often proudly pilot my John Deere mower around my two acres of lawn while enjoying the taste of a cold beer. One fine summer day I was out mowing the lawn and as I was making a pass along a row of hedges I was viciously attacked by a Hornet who believed I had invaded his territory and posed an immediate threat to his nest. This attack occurred near the end of the mowing job and it had been a particularly warm day so I was well into my fifth or sixth can of beer by this point. I quickly came to the conclusion that since I was at the top of the food chain and I had planted the hedges the hornets were “defending” not to mention the fact that I paid a ridiculous amount tax on the property the hedges grew on that the hornet’s attack was completely unjustified and warranted an immediate and hostile response.

I went inside and a few minutes later emerged from my house with my 12 gauge. I “army crawled” across my porch so the people driving on I-94 on the other side of my hedges and across the frontage road would see me and jump to some crazy conclusion. I took aim and let one go. I was; however, just close enough so that the shot didn’t have enough time to separate and all I succeeded in doing is blasting a breezeway through the paper nest and infuriating the entire swarm. I didn’t want to chance another shot because I had seen several movies and believed I knew about triangulation. I quickly scuttled back into the house, put down my gun and ran outside to the garage. I had another idea. Since my sniper moves had proven unsuccessful, I decided napalm was my next best option.

I had another beer while I put together the mission. I looked around and found a weed sprayer and filled it with gasoline. I shifted my John Deere into a higher gear and made three or four passes with the sprayer until I determined the area was doused properly. I then began my ignition run. I had prepared a Rambo style torch by wrapping several shop rags around on end of a tree branch and soaking them in kerosene. I lit it and piloted my Greene Bomber past the kill zone and with a mighty roar I hurled the torch…..over the hedge and into the ditch on the other side. I retrieved my torch, put out the burning grass it had started, got stung again, and tried a second time. This time I went Ninja style and crept as close to ground zero as I dared and shot the torch like a dart. Success! The hedge was on fire! It grew a bit quicker that I had expected and soon I had to run to grab the garden hose and put out the fire that was making its way through the hedge and toward my house.

I stood there surveying my war torn lawn and feeling very Thor like when I was stung three more times! Like a man plagued with Demons, I hopped, shimmied, and jerked around the front lawn. As I stood in my garage planning my next sortie, I saw my wife calmly walk out of the house, sprayed the paper nest and a ground nest (I hadn’t noticed) in the same area, looked at me, and go back inside shaking her head. Her smugness was not appreciated.

The End



I would like to point out that my friend is not a drunken lunatic with no common sense and limited cognitive abilities. He is actually quite knowledgeable about many different topics, especially the safe, proper, and responsible handling of firearms. I in no way mean to slight him with this story. I said above, this is a story based on true event. The actual details of the story should be shared by the man who witnessed them.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

The Creation of Trees


Photo by Mel Vyvyan




I was recently commissioned to design and create some metal sculptures of bonsai trees for a friends wedding to be used as center pieces. We had been hanging out at our apartment when they noticed a sculpture I had done with some scrap metal and asked if I could build a bonsai tree. I said I’d give it a try and see what happens. I went into work on a Friday and experimented with a design that failed miserable. I pondered this for a few days and then tried again. This time I was more satisfied with the outcome. I took some pictures and sent them off for approval. I got an enthusiastic thumbs-up so I built seven more for a total of eight metal bonsai trees.

When you work in a shop with a bunch of guys using big tools around giant trucks, you have to resign yourself to some intense questioning when you start doing anything remotely artistic. There are questions about what you are trying to do, why you are doing it, what your sexual orientation is, and whether or not you are going to “flounce about” when you are done with your artsy fartsy nonsense. This interrogation was done all in fun and everyone wanted to know how they came out and wanted to see pictures of them.

I am now going to get a little artsy fartsy with you now. Much like the traditional method of trimming and coaxing the vegetation into a desirable shape, I found that creating these metal renditions produced a similar meditative experience. As I heated and bent the steel this way and that, something occurred to me. These trees could be viewed as a representation of how we must work not only at relationships, but also life. The paths we take from beginning to end are often strangely curved with little reason other then by the will that guides it.

Creating these trees was methodical; each one consists of a 4” by 4” square channel base, a 16” length of steel rod and a 6” length of ¼” steel rod. Each tree was welded with the same machine; heated and bent by the same guy with the same torch, and most were bent on the same day yet each one is different. There are no two alike. Each tree was a different path in the same direction toward the same destination.

The last realization I had occurred while putting the “foliage” on the trunks. After I had welded and bent them into shape I painted them and tossed them into my car to take them home and finish them up there. They were chunks of steel that I could have dropped out the window on the freeway and suffered little more damage that some scraped paint. However as I started sculpting the tufts of steel wool the entire tree took a breath of life and instantly became very delicate. This is an interesting idea. Aside from the epoxy agent used to hold the foliage on the trunk, this tree is entirely made out of steel. Steel stock can be extremely strong and difficult to damage, while steel wool can be easily pulled apart and destroyed. A person could view love and relationships in a similar way. Love can be so strong it convinces a person to live when everything else is against them and yet a relationship can be destroyed in a few simple words.

As I was working on these I took some photographs and video footage because I wanted to make a “Behind the Tree” episode for the Newlywed’s. The bride is a known “Star Wars” fan and the Groom is a “Firefly” Browncoat if I ever met one so I used these elements in the movie. I have waited until after the wedding to post this so that they could have this to themselves for their special day. It was a great honor to do this for them and I thank them for the opportunity.

A list of questions from Jess

While looking through a folder on my computer I discovered a list of questions my friend Jess forwarded me. I had meant to respond but needed to think about the answers so I saved it and promptly forgot it. Here are my answers.


1. Do you like Swiss cheese? Only on breaded chicken sandwiches

2. Have you ever jumped off anything? The restricted side of the quarry lake in Menomonee Falls Park in jeans and damn near drowned!!!

3. Do you own a membership? Yes, to The W.A.C. and Zombie Squad!!

4. What flavor of Kool Aid is your favorite? I created what I call “Zombie Juice” which was a packet of “berry punch” and “Cherry” mixed with 4 cups of sugar in a 1 gallon container. Red Bull ain’t got nuthin’ on me!

5. Do you get nervous before doctor's appointments? Only the embarrassing ones

6. What do you think of wasabi? Lump of green evil that hunts one corner of my sushi salvation.

7. Favorite all-time movie. Impossible question. (Note- Those that know me also know that I cannot answer any "Favorite" question because I stand by the idea that a persons tastes change during the couse of even the same day thus making it impossible for a direct choice in most matters.)

8. Who do you think is super-hot? Prodigy (I’m a fire sta-ta! Ta-wisted fire sta-ta!!!)

9. Can you do a hand-stand? Only if I had a desire to become a quadriplegic.

10. What's your favorite piece of jewelry? My guitar pick necklace.

11. Favorite hobby? Daydreaming

12. Do you have a STD? Nope- Doc tested, Mellie approved!

13. Do you play sports? Bowling?

14. What is your favorite food? Sir Pizza - Royal Feast!

15. Name 3 things you're looking at. Time Clock, Word Document, My life speeding past!

16. Name 3 things you like to do? Being with Mel, Answering questions, Chasing my run-away life!!

17. Current worry? As Always, Money

18. Current pain right now? All the diodes on my left side. (Ref. The Hitch-Hikers Guide to the Galaxy character Marvin- The Paranoid Android)

19.Favorite Place to be? Somewhere with friends and laughter.
20. What did you do for Halloween? I made a little girl cry.

21. Where would you like to go? England or Scotland

22. Name three people who will complete this: Mel, Fran, Alisha

23. Do you have any pets? Oaty, my stuffed bear and Rawr, My Ugly doll

24. What color shoes are you wearing? Black Steel Toed Boots

25. Do you like sleeping outside? In a tent, sure.

26. Can you cook? There are things I create that are edible.

27. What are you doing tonight? Visiting my folks

28. Would you pick up a hitch hiker? Yup, depending on a few conditions.

29. What is your favorite sports team? Dixie Dock Dogs http://www.dixiedockdogs.com/

30. Favorite vehicle? To Own – ’58 Plymouth Belvedere - Actually Owned 1996 Maxima (pre-age related issues)

31. Favorite holiday? Halloween

32. What is in your pocket right now? (Eyebrows rise) Ahem, well..Some change, a knife, work keys, wallet, cell phone and a pen

33. Last thing that made you laugh? Mel’s description of herself as having the grace of a drunken pelican.

34. What was the last thing you ate? A burrito from the “Wheel of Death” – Always gotta exercise the immune system.

35. Worst pain you've ever had? Death of a close friend.

36 Do you love more then ten people? Depending on your definition of love, possibly.

37. How many creatures do you have in your house? That I’m aware of, four humans and some plants.

38. What are your pet peeves? Eating noises, unattended children, barking dogs, lists of questions that end at 48 instead of a nice round 50, and other things that make me seem like more of a petty asshole than I really am.

39. Who is your favorite famous person? Douglas Adams

40. Do you have any plants? Yes, a bamboo plant

41. What is your favorite number? 42

42. How many siblings do you have? Noneish

43 Do you have any bad habits? Chewing my nails, various personality traits

44. Where do you go to blow off steam? Seems like where ever it is most inappropriate at times.

45. Who is your favorite cartoon character? Satchel (Get Fuzzy) followed by Pig (Pearls before Swine)

46. Do you keep secrets from the ones you love? Yes, I was successful at throwing a surprise birthday party for Mel.

47. What do you want to be when you grow up? I let you know when I decide to do it.

48. Are you artistic? I would prefer to be labeled artistic rather than claim that I am.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

10 Special Concerts

I am a music fan. I have been surrounded by music my whole life. I remember my Mom singing harmonies to Aerosmith tunes and Dad playing his accordion at various family events. I love listening to music, playing music, discussing music and sharing music. I also like going to concerts to see performers I really like. I must admit that my concert going days have declined recently but it is primarily a financial issue and not a lack of interest. Today I will be telling you about 10 really great shows I’ve been to. These concerts were remarkable to me for one reason or another. I don’t rank things as “best show ever” or “my favorite concert” so these shows are ones that have moved me. I have been to a lot of shows and most were very good but these 10 came to mind right away. I have listed them as close to chronologically as I can.



Boxcar Willie – Mid 1980’s
Boxcar Willie is a country music singer famous for train songs and the ability to mimic the sound of a train whistle vocally. He performed at the Shiawassee County Fair when we still lived in Michigan. I was very young but I remember there was a comedian/Ventriloquist who had a Crow Puppet that opened the show. I also remember getting Willies autograph along with the Comedian autograph. I still have that photo.



Megadeth- 1990
I wrote about this show in a previous entry “My First Time”. It was my first time going to a concert on my own and experiencing a Heavy Metal concert. It was galvanizing. Such a display of power and energy would influence and teenager but it was exactly what I didn’t know I needed!



Rush Limbaugh – Early 90’s
I can envision some of you with a head cocked curiously to one side pondering the inclusion of political spoken word show by one of the most famous and controversial talk show hosts listed among some of the other bands here. I had the opportunity to see Rush Limbaugh perform in Milwaukee in 1990 or 91. My Dad had listened to him on the radio for years and when he heard about the show asked if I wanted to go. I did and so we went. I remember seeing people there with leather jacket and confused faces wondering why the trio from Canada was attracting such an odd audience! Mr. Limbaugh made some very compelling statement regarding several popular hot topics at the time. He is a commanding presence and to this day I use him as a reference when it comes to public speaking ability.


B.B. King – Mid 1990’s
I remember when I first started playing guitar and realized that I really like blues music, my Dad came home from a business trip and gave me a B.B. King tape. He said” If you like blues, this is the real deal.” I took Guns ‘n Roses out of my tape deck and put in the cassette and pushed play. I have never regretted it. From the first notes of “Sweet Sixteen” I knew I would learn a lot from this man.
So you can imagine what an enormous surprise it was for me when my dear friend Denise surprised me with ticket to see him at the Riverside Theater. Our seats were near the very top row if I remember correctly but the show was spectacular. I remember feeling my eyes water while listening to some of the songs and realizing I’m in the same room with a legend. I had a grin from ear to ear after that show. There is no way I could ever repay her for allowing me the opportunity to witness one of the masters at work. For that and numerous other reasons I will be eternally grateful for her friendship.


Ozzfest – 1999
I have been to Ozzfest several times and have seen many famous bands and witnessed some of the early shows of bands that went on to become huge. . There were several bands playing this show that I checked out. Drain STH is an extremely underrated band that I got the chance to check out. It is an all female band out of Sweden, a country known for its eclectic metal scene. They put on a very solid show and put to rest the myth that metal is a men’s only club. Next I checked out Fear Factory and Slipknot. Fear Factory is an example of great heavy metal with a dash (he! he!) of speed. Slipknot, on the other hand, is a band difficult to label. With 9 members all in red jumpsuits and custom made horror masks playing ferocious metal music interspersed with elements of hip hop and rap, this band is an experience to be had, not to be described. Static X is one of my favorite bands. Their sound is a solid groove based metal with electronic overtones. Their performance at this Ozzfest has been my only chance to see them. I will, however, see them again. Switching gears sharply, Primus was on this bill to provide a sharp contrast to the metal scene at this show. I have been a fan of Primus since my buddy Scott introduced me to them back in high school. Les Claypool, the band’s lead… everything, is a bass player that defies description. Much like, yet completely opposite from, Slipknot, Primus should be experienced in order to form an opinion.

Anytime you get the opportunity to watch a performance from one of “The Big Four of Heavy Metal” you should take it. “The Big Four of Heavy Metal” consists of Metallica, Slayer, Anthrax, and Megadeth. I took the opportunity to watch Slayer show the rest of the bands a thing or two about thrash. I got chills. Rob Zombie took the stage right before the headliner and got the audience, which had been moshing all day, charged up with a stage show full of fire, robots, monsters and go-go dancers.

All of these bands were great, but, with the headlining band I scored another massive achievement on the “Concert Bucket List”. I saw Black Sabbath with the original four members; Ozzy Osbourne, Bill Ward, Tony Iommi, and Geezer Butler. These pioneers of Heavy Metal had recently reunited and toured. I am thrilled to have experienced the band that influenced some of my favorite music. I remember feeling dizzy with excitement as the first chords of their song “Black Sabbath” literally shook the cloths you were wearing. I got to see the guys who wrote the songs I’ve been listening to and jamming with for years, perform them. It was spiritual.


Alice Cooper – 2003
The master of shock rock exploded onto the stage at the Waukesha County Fair and I was there right in front. I found out Alice Cooper was playing the day of the show so I grabbed a couple of friends and we headed over there. As we were wandering around the fair, killing time, we ran into a good friend who told us his brother had been staking out a spot up front since early afternoon and that we should go let him know we were there. So we did. As a musician and a person who likes watching the performance as well as hearing the music, I don’t sing along at concerts. However… the pure theatricality of Alice’s show swept me up and I sang along with every song I know as well did most of the audience. It was magic, dark magic ;) but magic none the less.


Ozzfest – 2005
Ozzfest makes another appearance on this list due primarily to the sheer abundance of memorable bands I saw. I went to this concert courtesy of my good friend Scott Pagac. He gave the guys who stood up in his wedding ticket to this show. WOW. One of the first bands I saw that day was a group called Wicked Wisdom fronted by a young lady named Jada Pinkett Smith. Yup, this petite little actress tore on stage and proceeded to tear that place apart. It was like seeing a pissed off little female Iggy Pop tear-assing across the stage. Awesome! A couple of bands later a group of guys comes on stage dressed to the nines in “metal gear” and starts grinding on a decent speed metal groove when all of a sudden the lead singer/guitarist guy runs out. My first thought was, “who does this pretty boy think he is?’. It was followed buy my second thought, “Holy shit! That looks just like my friend Joe!” The “pretty boy” proceeds to unleash lyrics in a metal yell the likes of which I had never heard before. The band was called Trivium, and I bought their CD the next day. Surprise number three was seeing a band called Arch Enemy which mixed the yelling, speeding fury of Trivium with the Wicked Wisdom surprise of yet another female lead singer and adds a dash of intimidation in the fact this lead singer might very well be of Viking ancestry and the burning blue eyes and flying blond hair made even the machoest of men in the mosh pit pause and reconsider their position of dominance. All of these bands were, by the way, on the second stage which featured Rob Zombie as the headliner for this stage. Rob’s show was as full of energy as it usually is and the audience was well entertained.

This alone would have been a great show, however, over on the main stage, Ozzfest concert goers were treated to an enormous treat as the two bands that finished up the evening were none other than Iron Maiden and Black Sabbath. The gods of Metal were smiling upon the earth when this line up was put together. I don’t have the word to express the immensity of seeing these two bands on the same night. Iron Maiden, with front man/pilot Bruce Dickinson, fulfilled every expectation I have of the monumental bands performance. Of course no Maiden show would be complete without a visit from the bands mascot “Eddie” a 12 foot puppet operated by a man inside the costume. It was great. Black Sabbath finished the day off and played a great show considering each member was over 65 years of age at this show. All in all, it was a show to remember.


Rush – 2005
My good friend and band mate, Scott had been pestering me since we met to see Rush (the three chaps from Canada, not the talk show host mentioned earlier) perform live. Rush is one of Scott's primary influences on bass and in his song writing. I agreed to see their show at The Marcus Amphitheater because it was billed as “An Evening of Rush.” They were to play a two set show. Cool. Scott, his wife Kristi, and I got some great tickets somewhere in the 3rd or 4th row off to the right. The show happened to be the same night “Festa Italiana” was happening at The Summerfest grounds so we walked around that for a while. We decided it was time we head toward our seats and as we were making our way there, Kristi’s cell phone rang. She answered it and soon began jumping and shrieking with delight. While we were roaming the grounds, Kristi stopped to enter a contest to win tickets front row center. Yup..She won. Being the awesome people Scott and Kristi are they found a couple of people sitting in the grass seats and gave them their tickets up front. We all headed down to our seats and we worked out that Scott and Kristi would watch the first half of the show front row and the second half I would go up front row with Scott. The show was great. The band played a bunch of the hits and a bunch of the newer stuff. The drum solo cemented Neil Peart in the top three drumming slots in my mind. And, again, seeing a band with a career spanning 36 years (With The Same Line Up) that influenced many of today’s artist is something I am proud to talk about.


Les Paul – June 21 2008
I told the story of this concert in a previous entry “A Moment of Sound.” It was an extremely important show. There isn’t much I can say about this show that I didn’t mention in the previous entry. Watching the man play is spell binding. A person can see a pattern though. Women have played an essential part in allowing me to experience some landmark concerts and I don’t know what I did to deserve these opportunities but I can never repay the favor.


Henry Rollins – April 8 2010
I have seen Henry Rollins several times over the last decade. For those of you who are unaware, Henry Rollins is a multi-faceted Entertainer/artist. He got his start as the lead singer for a punk band called Black Flag. He has since, formed and toured with his own group (Rollins Band), written several books, started a publishing company, acted in a variety of movies and TV shows (Sons of Anarchy season 2, Heat, Wrong Turn 2), and tours as a spoken word artist among other things. His spoken word shows are more of a monologue than performance art where he speaks about current events as well as sharing stories of recording with William Shatner and trying to out perform Iggy Pop. I always leave his shows with a head full of things to think about and this latest show was a particularly good one. His material spanned many topic of conversation that had the audience cheering wildly in agreement and a few minutes later roaring with laughter. It was a great show. It was also a testimony to this mans drive, focus, and ability because he spoke nonstop for three hours without a single sip of water or pause for breath.


In conclusion I would invite all of you to look into the artists I have listed. In each entry I have included links to help you search them out and give you examples that help illustrate my points. There is foul language, controversial subject matter, and a wide swatch of performance. Please feel free to share your stories in the comment section below.